About a week ago I walked into one of the coolest bars I’ve ever seen. Extremely dim lighting. Dark wood, leather chairs, potted plants on the bar – which they used as the actual garnishes for the drinks. The whole place smelled of oranges. Which I found out was because there’s a huge bowl of oranges they used to peel the rind off of for their drinks. Authentic orange smell? Major plus.
The bartenders at this place weren’t bartenders.
They took their craft way too seriously to be called a bartender. It was clear these dudes were mixologists. Side note: mixologists sounds way too cheesy to accurately describe these guys. They were artists, and getting you drunk was their artwork.
They were all dressed to the 9’s in top hats and vests. The only thing missing was a monocle.
Oh, another important point: to get alcohol down from behind the bar, they had one of those old school librarians’ ladders that slides side to side. Except instead of delivering you books they deliver you drunkenness.
The top hat wearing fella made me some whiskey drink that I was too drunk to remember the name of. All I know is that he put the ingredients in a decanter and then pumped smoke into that same decanter. When I got my drink, I could actually taste the smoke. Weirdly, it was a perfect complement to the black cherry whiskey.
I found this place because I was on a mini vacation in the great city of Dallas, Texas. Close to my hometown. My mini vacation consisted of an impromptu trip to a Mavericks play off game, which they lost, eating copious amounts of Tex-Mex – because no other state does Mexican food right. And drinking what felt like all day every day.
A mini vacation like that will leave you itching to get back on track and back into real life, and soon.
I wanted to get back into the swing of things this week. To feel like I reversed some of the damage I had done. I felt bloated, a little fluffier, and beat to hell.
Enter: The Fatloss Utility Belt.
I keep a utility belt. It’s much like Batman’s utility belt. We both have grappling hooks to get us out of sticky situations. Mine is also full of ways that help you lose fat when you need it.
I call this one The Diet Reset.
Clever, I know.
The diet reset basically functions as a 1-2 day process where you “reset” your diet and exercise programs to get back into the swing of things, feel better, and reverse some of the damage you may have done.
The diet reset is perfect following a long ass weekend like I had, or a long vacation. It’s a follow up to any period of little exercise, lots of food, and copious amounts of alcohol.
On vacations and things like that I very rarely focus on getting a workout in. I might get a few in, or I might not. I don’t let it rule my mindset though. I’m on a fucking vacation, so I’m gonna get all vacated and let my body rest.
Why use a diet reset?
A diet reset is something to use because following a vacation we usually feel bloated, lazy, and lethargic. Thanks to the uptick in calories, and the considerably higher amount of alcohol, our bodies are letting us know that things feel a little worse than they used to.
You may have trouble fitting into your fat pants after vacation. That’s normal.
The post vacation I-feel-like-a-fucking-whale bloat comes from having consumed more sodium, and more refined carbohydrates. Both of those are excellent at helping us store water, and when they’re combined for any amount of time, the resulting effect is a noticeable I-feel-like-a-balloon-ready-to-pop.
When you spend a few days living like a King and drinking like a fish you’re bound to feel different after you return to normal people life.
Bloating doesn’t equal fat gain.
If it’s not fat, then why do we even need a reset?
Fair question, young padawan. You haven’t gained a ton fat like you think, but you still need a diet reset.
You’ve consumed a ton of extra calories. In a very short period of time. Most of those being junk calories.
Anytime you’ve consumed a lot of extra calories, some amount of weight gain is bound to happen. Your body may have gotten some much needed rest from the gym, but it still took a beating thanks to that drunken mile long hike you took just to get a dozen tacos from Taco Bell.
The reset allows you to undo some of that damage, and get your wheels turning again.
The Bazed and Confused personal reset story:
On Monday, I went for an extended fast. I’m a fan of fasting. It’s obviously not for everyone, but it’s something I enjoy, and a reset is a damn good reason to fast.
Fasting is a tool in my utility belt I use to get rid of that bloated feeling, limit the number of calories I’m eating, provides short term hormonal benefits, and can even help “cleanse” through the process of cellular autophagy. Check it all out here.
The fast is about 16-18 hours, sometimes I’ll even do 24 hours depending on when I had my last meal on Sunday. Water and coffee are both fine here, but that’s it.
What about when you start eating?
Some people are fans of getting right back into their normal diet, counting their macros, or doing whatever. That’s not exactly fun for me, and I need another day of mental reprieve before jumping right back in.
I eat much more intuitively this day. I make sure that every single meal is filled with dark leafy greens, fibrous vegetables, and fruits. I actually go much lower carb on this day, to help speed up the process of getting rid of that extra water weight I’ve tacked on.
I won’t eat breads, refined carbs, pastas, rice, or much else like that. I just choose not to, because it makes me feel better to abstain from that stuff for a day. I feel like I get over the bloat much quicker, and get back to feeling lean. This also helps me keep calories lower.
I also avoid eating meat on this day.
Fucking crazy, I know. I love me some dead animal flesh. I decided not to eat meat on these days because it helps keep me feeling light, and less bloated. Plus it’s a good way to keep calories lower.
My protein on reset days is derived from eggs, legumes, and protein powder if I plan on having a smoothie.
The reset is drastically lower calorie.
The act of forcing my diet to be over 50% fruits and vegetables, limiting myself from refined carbs and meat keeps the reset day calories extremely low.
After a few days of higher calorie eating, an extended fast and a day of lower calories can do wonders in getting the diet back on track not only physically, but mentally as well. There’s something to be said about not having to jump back into your diet, yet still feeling like you’re jumping back on the gain train headed straight to New Ab City.
I don’t stress a ton about jumping back into my normal program, either. We can all agree that returning from vacation sucks, and it takes a day or two to get back into the routine of life.
I take advantage of this, and like to organize a couple of circuits, as well as do some light cardio.
The reset workout.
I’m a huge fan of incorporating more full body movements into the reset workout. A few of my favorites are goblet squats, kettlebell swings, overhead presses, rows, pull-ups, and push-ups. My go to work out on the reset was this:
- A1. Goblet squat – 15 reps
- A2. Push-up – 20 reps
- A3. Pull-up – 10 reps
*4 rounds with 60 seconds rest between each round.
- B1. Kettlebell swing – 15 reps
- B2. Overhead press – 10 reps
- B3. Inverted row – 10 reps
*3 rounds with 60 seconds rest between each round.
Jump roping for 8 rounds of 30 seconds.
1 mile easy pace jog.
That entire workout might take 45 minutes. But I sweat my ass off, and feel much better because of it. I’m not focusing on strength or hypertrophy, or anything fancy. The truth is my workout would likely suck if that were the case. I’m focusing on getting myself moving again, and feeling like I’ve had a productive workout.
This is the exact process I put in place when I got back from my trip on Monday. Same eating plan. Same workout. Everything. It did wonders in getting me back on track and feeling like I actually hadn’t derailed all my hard earned progress. Put this shit in place, and see what it does for you.
Like what you saw? Don’t hesitate to share it with someone who is feeling like Jabba The Hutt after getting back from their most recent vacation.